5 Things Women Should Be Asking Themselves

Wendy Del Monte
3 min readFeb 22, 2020

It’s happened. My youngest just turned 18. I have a few short months left of homeschooling him until he graduates then it’s time for me to decide on what I want to do with the rest of my life. It should be easy, right? It’s not.

I have spent the last 20 years taking care of others. I still will be taking care of others, but for once, I can start thinking about what I want to do. I am having a really hard time deciding, mainly because *I* haven’t been my focus for forever. Now that I need to focus on myself, I find that I don’t know what to do, or how to do it! I reached out to Gina DeVee, who wrote The Audacity to Be Queen: The Unapologetic Art of Dreaming Big and Manifesting Your Most Fabulous Life knowing that she’d have some good advice on how to get started. She said I need to start off by asking myself 5 questions- and answer them.

1. Have I been saying “No,” when I really wanted to say, “YES,” or vice-versa? Many women never experience their desires in life because they are caught up in what they “should do” to please others or be responsible and limiting themselves with a perceived lack of money or time. You are the creator of your life, with power over your schedule and finances, and it’s up to you to determine what your true desires are and commit to manifesting them so you can let your yes be yes and your no be no.

2. How good am I willing to let my life get? We’ve been trained to expect that “pretty good” should be enough for us and we should just be happy with what we have. However, if the results you’re seeing in your career, income, love life or home are not what you genuinely crave, it’s time to take inventory and take your life from “good” to “great” by making the decision to rise up to your next level of excellence, commitment, and accountability. Do you have a plan for your life? 67 percent of Americans do not have a written plan for their lives. It was time for me to get planning.

3. Who else can do this? Women have been trained we have to do everything ourselves and that it’s weak to ask for help, and now that’s why we think we don’t have the time to pursue our dreams, take care of ourselves. You need to ask yourself, “who else can do this?” so that you can focus on exclusively what brings you the most joy.

4. Am I open to receiving? Fundamentally to be feminine is to RECEIVE, which many women are uncomfortable doing even though it is completely necessary for us to thrive (we need to receive money, love, attention, support, mentorship etc). Reconnecting to your own feminine values of creativity, beauty, pleasure, intuition, collaboration, community, compassion, spirituality in 2020 will restore your ability to achieve your goals in a way that is genuinely fulfilling versus feeling like you’re working so hard and having so little fun all the time.

5. Where are my words misaligned with my actions? Wanting something, talking about how much you want it, hoping that it will happen one day, even putting it on your vision board, is not enough. If you have a goal that’s been in the “wishing and hoping” category, you must give yourself the structure, support, and accountability to make sure it happens and that you are taking action on a consistent basis.

Oh, boy. Those were some questions that I’ll be honest, they weren’t all so easy to answer. However, looking at them and answering them honestly is helping me decided what I am going to do with the second half of my life. I’m pleased to say that I have a good head start on where I want to be, and the second part of my life is going to be amazing! I’m having the Audacity to be my own Queen!



Wendy Del Monte

I fight bullying, help end the stigma of mental illness, and prep for the Zombie Apocalypse! Anti-bullying advocate for both kids AND Parents.